When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Randomize
