i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
