that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
