Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
