dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
