I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
