So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
