i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I wish i was in the wii world.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
That's how pantless uber rides happen
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
