I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
