I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
She announced her abortion via fbk
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
