check it out our google latitudes are spooning
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
