The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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