covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
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