yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
home. puking in laundry basket.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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