Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he told me I talked like a deaf person
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
