So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
