oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
