Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
