Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize
