Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
