I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
