Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
