It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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