It's like God shit irony all over that family
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
