Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
