she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
