he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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