The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
