No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
do nipples grow back?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
