And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
