The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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