I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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