Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
