he wants to bone in the snuggie
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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