I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
