two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
