I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
