Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
