And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
