I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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