I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She told me I should be a condom model.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
