This is not my ceiling
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
