standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
