Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
