I CAN MOONWALK!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
