sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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