the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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