Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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