no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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