Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
