does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
