i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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